Transcendence

I strolled to the outside, wondering what I could do to please the one on the other end of the red and black. With failure to find what I was looking for, the effort of thinking so intently by pushing away other thoughts left my brain absolutely blank. Just when that inability to please was about to push me into the now almost familiar gorge of dejection, I fell into the valley of bliss as I realized there was glitter at my doorstep. I stepped into the moonlight, too gleeful to be afraid that it might vanish, like most other beautiful moments in life. I left my foot there, waiting for it to be completely immersed in the glitter, waiting patiently for the magic to mingle in my blood and reach my soul before lifting my face to savour another image of God's wonderful gift.

This light was the one I considered most precious after the light of faith. For as long as memory permitted me, it had illuminated the lanes of my memory, trains of thoughts and my porch. I waited for the end of summer when this moonlight would give life to the exterior of my bedroom, when it made me feel protected in its halo. But that protection was not the sole reason why I admired it so much. It had a lovely companion that I waited for throughout the year.

Slowly I allowed my entire body to embrace the moonlight. Inching ever so slightly into it, so I could absorb all its magic, I began to lift my chin to finally see that magnificent orb. The light filled my eyes and I witnessed the radiant halo and then finally its source. 

The best part about a full moon is the very prominent star of light it radiates in four directions. Look more closely and you'll notice that it not a four cornered one but there are paths radiating in four more directions, like how you make eight slices of pizza. I know that's probably the worst analogy one could use but it’s simple, for once. Actually it’s not about a closer look but just tilting your head in different directions so different angles show the different paths.

When I couldn't stare at the moon for longer because it seemed to be burning with a blue flame/glow (which is just my eyes playing tricks so that they can survive another few years), I turned to the other far-from-earth object of my affection. Venus, as you might have guessed if you've read my blog since the beginning (you don't really need to personally know me for that). It first seemed that Venus was in the wake of the moon and they were playing a game - not the flirtatious kind that Greek mythology creates between Apollo's celestial love and Venus but of an innocent, childish nature, that is a shade of their stunning white purity. Venus seemed so small next to the full moon, so distant but yet in its wake, as if the moon made an effort to extend its halo of protection to Venus as well. In spite of its small size, Venus stood out bright and proud, guarding its identity with its twinkle, not even slightly inhibited by the moon. Complimenting each other, free from the envious urge to outshine the other, together they travelled through the fabric of time and space and I thanked God for giving me another chance to witness this courtship and feel such joy. Yes, I call it courtship because when I see them, the joy I feel seems to be what it must be like to be in love. I know that's VERY cliché and I could probably be strangled for using it but that is how I feel. I have never been in love, I don't know what it’s like: if it’s really how people describe it and whether Wordsworth was actually inspired by Venus to make a connection but that really is what I feel when I see this pair in the sky in its unearthly, majestic glow. This feeling I get, this joy and happiness I feel to my core of my soul is probably what love feels like, to say the least. Once again, apologies for the clichéd connection. I do respect Wordsworth a lot for his urge to defy clichés and I can not imagine comparing myself to him (for a million reasons apart from the fact that he was a  poet of inenerrable profundity) but if I had lived before Wordsworth, I would have used Venus and then I would be winnaaar. 

Today: A Kaleidoscope

It is not every day that you can get out on the streets of Karachi and have access to fresh air. However, today was just that fortunate a day because most of the city's population was locked inside their homes, huddled away on sofas or the floor, glaring at the TV screen. Those considered pious in every household were glued to prayer mats, praying for the national cricket team's victory in the world cup quarter finals. My family however, is allergic to cricket and we spent the day...well, just like any other holiday.

With mild sunshine and early summer breeze, the weather was quite pleasant for this time of the year. My dad offered to let me drive around, since the streets were deserted but I refused. It causes me a lot of pain to acknowledge this, but I refused to drive, when my dad actually offered to let me drive. This of course had nothing to do with the kind of patriotism that most residing in my nation feel - the kind that comes across through cricket only. Although, it's entirely another story that my patriotism is directed more towards Venus. 

It was simply because I didn't feel well enough to drive.

As requested, I scanned N's presentation for flaws and to provide moral support. I was so pleased when I opened that Powerpoint file because the colour scheme of the presentation was black and blue! I've always loved those colours, they're so rich and deep. Also, they remind me of my blog and how I've deserted it. With that thought, I decided to base a blogpost on that presentation, as a token of gratitude because it reminded me to redirect my attention towards my blog. 

And here it is!

1. Thank you N. The presentation was pretty cool, I just didn't get it because we haven't studied that stuff yet. Under normal circumstances I would freak out because of that, but presently I'm not in the mood.

2. After scanning it, I wanted to point out a few things that I felt could be an issue so I called up N. It was so funny. I mean, there was nothing funny about it but this was probably the second time we talked on the phone and it felt funny to just hear the other person's voice, having no perception of their face or expressions, apart from that your brain can conjure up. I know that's how phone conversations are, but it's just so amazing that your brain associates recollections of expressions from the bank of your memory when you hear a voice, without a visual stimulus. 

Only this year, we were taught in bio how that happens through the synapses in our neurones: When you hear a new voice and see a new face, pathways (in simple terms) are created in your brain, along which whenever signals travel, you can recall and identify the person responsible for creating that signal. So when you hear the voice alone or see the face without any auditory stimulus, signals are carried along the synapses corresponding to either voice identification or face identification, in the latter case. And as one of these pathways are excited, the pathway that was created along with it also responds to the signal and is automatically stimulated to give a recollection of both face and voice together.

This is why I love the brain, it's SO amazing! That is also why I hate it when people fail to use it and act stupid and fake.

3. It seems as if my maternal instincts are now restricted to my blog (before this it was the kittens, but then they died), since I fail to employ them when with human children. I hate that about myself. I love most children, find the annoying ones really scary and crave to learn how to deal with them. I would like to think that it's another universal conspiracy that I am incapable of talking to children and making them happy. That makes ME very unhappy. I am so jealous of all those girls my age who can handle children so easily because I can never make them stop crying, etc. I can't even hold them in my arms for a long time because I'm too afraid! Just the other day, I was at a friend's place, whose nephew I adore more than any other child I've adored in the past few years. She went out of the room for a while and he started crying. I just stood and stared at the child with the most concerned face I could possibly have and I think I was near to tears myself because I just didn't know what to do! 

Anyway, I feel very motherly towards my blog. When I began paying attention to it after a long dry spell of desertion, it looked almost orphaned to me and now it seems to be recovering.

And those who studied alkanes and alkenes without me: That was the only topic I REALLY needed to revise in AS organic at the moment because I make myself exceedingly complacent with the fact that it's easy and I need to concentrate on other things like Acyl Chlorides.

S-da-B, guess what? One of my friends just re-enlightened me with the knowledge that lots of 'mailay Karachi boyzz' are speeding towards the seaside on motorbikes. This is why I prefer 'maila pakistani boy' over 'poor German girl'. They are SO patriotic, 'poor German girl' was fake and kept whining about Germany and the attic.

All: I don't like 'mailay Pakistani boys', okay? I just think their hairstyles are better than that of Ann Frank (or whatever her name was spelled as).

Laws of retardation:Theory Four -Taking over

World in order

I can proudly say that my plan to take over the world is now complete. It took me some 18 years to finally get here and I’m deeply grateful to the Venus-lings for all their motivation and support. All hail Venus!

On a lonely summer day, I realized I was becoming a vegetable because I could not frame coherent thoughts and my vocabulary seemed to be rotting away with a rather putrid stench. It was truly devastating and I set out to investigate the cause, which I was shell-shocked to find: It was part of the greater plan of the Venus-lings to mess with my head. They wanted to turn me into a vegetable so that I would become useless for the Earth and they could take me away to Venus and make me their queen. The question is, why did they choose ME of all people for this prestigious, yet immensely important role? The answer is as following:

1. I love Venus too much and they received these signals confirming that from my heart and brain and the apple-pie I’m going to use soon. They were baffled by those signals and couldn’t find any such signal from a single Venus-ling! I mean I had even written two poems on Venus! They were just overwhelmed by my mis-directed patriotism and totally ashamed that I wasn’t one of them so they decided I deserved to be their queen (there are no immigration facilities up there so being queen was kind of essential or the army would take me down).

2. They realized the Earth didn’t deserve me because it had become too sad for me to live in and my heart couldn't take it anymore, even the apple-pie would crumble away too soon. Nobody on earth except Subata Khalid understood what I said most of the time or not in full depth at least and most of them gave me a hard time about it, trying to put me off. The Venus-lings realized I needed an escape and the power to make things right. That would only happen if I was the queen of some other planet.

3. They were tired of watching the ill-health of the earth and decided it was time for change. I was the only one thinking of a revolution in my part of the world and people were being too mean to me about it so they decided I deserved a chance to lead the change. I also have a blog called ‘Floodgates’ for crying out loud! They just understood the ideology behind it and were too impressed.

4. They had to make me queen anyway so they decided to throw in the Earth complementary for good measure too. I mean what more damage could possibly occur to it?

Armor and artillery

First and foremost, whoever is willing to accompany me needs to have their heart replaced with an apple pie- that is the sole armor we require. We shall then order sets of cowboy boots, enabled with the most modern, efficient, and possibly high-tech spurs. This will be taken care of by Saba’s Babu and we are deeply grateful to both of them in advance.

I know I've mentioned cowboy boots and they have a more ruthless appeal to the barracuda senses but I prefer Jimmy Choos. They are just irresistible!

Mc Donald's has been especially helpful and provided us with  these fresh, juicy and very sweet apple pies at our special request (be grateful all you pie-lovers, Mc Donald's would never have had the idea if it weren't for me). I prefer these over my own because I don't have to work, they're portable and occupy very less space, also easily replaceable (all you have to do is open the window in your chest, pluck out the previous one and replace it with oven-fresh stuff).

There is a wide variety of spurs to choose from. Take your pick!

 

   

Then we need to cat-nap some caterpillars and pack them away in jars (with holes in the lids for Oxygen). Seems like I have learned to make a note of precautionary measures, courtesy of A level sciences. At least they have some courtesy. We shall feed these caterpillars with apple-pies so that they become venomous and then prepare for the major part of our plan.

The Climax

We elope to Venus and after basking in its enchanting atmosphere for a while, raid the world wearing our sparkling spur-enabled, cowboy boots. We grab a random person on earth and say “Take us to your leader, earth-ling!” This by the way needs to be accompanied by our signature action of pressing our temples with our fore-fingers and jerking the head from right to left, making a 180 degrees angle in a robotic manner. The earth-ling (we are superior Earth cum Venus-lings now) takes us to NASA. We unleash the inescapable wrath of our venomous caterpillars upon the NASA dudes, the caterpillars sting them and they die at the spot.

The fruit

We then set out to give quick, painless deaths to most of the lowly beings walking this beautiful planet called Earth, making it a little more blood-stained and dirty by slashing their throats with the spurs! Simple, quick, painless, peaceful, revolutionary, innovative and modern. The world is mine (or maybe ours).

Image courtesy: Subata Khalid, Bisma Farukh, Saba Iqbal, Atiya Rafique and Google.